By Marjorie Licos
Dates, whether with a long time beau or a first time meet up are not simply going out and seeing somebody. It is more of a man-created events designed to know and assess a future partner. You could be adorable, wonderful, gorgeous and fun and yet you’re still a first date mate. You see, there are certain responsibilities that everyone has to comply with to make the date successful, leading to the next phone call, the next date and to a flourishing love affair, perhaps. For lovers, dating is also a way to strengthen commitments and to inject more excitement and verve to relationships.
Some people seem to be more adept on its subtle rules than most. Foremost, you have to identify the turn-offs before working on making them like you. So, if you’re wondering why you can’t seem to get to the second date, here are some pointers that might help you.
1. Bad Breath
Alright, so you think you look heavenly that you can get away without brushing or gurgling after eating that spicy lunch. No! Stinky breath is a big no-no. You can spout out all the wonderful ideas in the world but your date won’t be getting any of it as your breathe takes the centre stage. Bad breath spells out everything about a person’s hygiene. Respect your date with proper preparation by coming up clean and fresh-smelling.
2. Endless Talks about Exes
Most people mistakenly look at it as a normal thing to talk about. But believe it or not, the person in front of you doesn’t need to hear how good or bad your ex was. Talking about your past relationship may hinder the growth of a budding romance so stay away from that topic as much as possible. There will be a better time to discuss that. But answer honestly when asked. Focus on both of you and find things that you two have in common.
3. Ogling at other girls and guys
Pay attention to what the other person is saying. Nothing is more insulting and annoying than talking to someone whose eyes are busy roaming around, following every hot thing that happens to pass by. This will not only hint disinterest but will also give the impression that you are not serious about the whole thing.
4. Avoid the quiz show
One of the most dating annoyances is when one starts a long line of endless questions. This gives the other person on the table a feeling of being probed and interrogated. This sure is awkward, remember that not all people relish on harping every detail of their life, especially to near stranger. For ongoing relationships, asking too much might give an impression of distrust. Instead, create conversation which is light, interactive and fun. Know when to talk and when to listen.
5. Remember all your cell phone etiquettes
Do you need to check your phone every five minutes in case someone texted you? Do you answer every call you got? It is incredibly annoying. Who would want to sit on a date with someone who talks to the phone more than you? Needless to say, it is impolite and disrespectful. Engage yourself with the person in front of you. Turn off your cell and hourly check would be acceptable.
6. Controlling the conversation
There might be a lot of good things about you that your date needs to know about, but this is not the time to recite your endless curriculum vitae. See that person in front of you? You are out there together because his/her presence interests you. Make it a point to show some interest and hear them out too.
7. Something’s fishy
Everyone would agree that a smelly date is a major turn-off. Imagine those seriously long hours of grooming yourself just to ensure that you look good in everyway. Seeing somebody with that unmistakably body smell could really be insulting and disappointing. It totally spoils the moment.
8. Running in late
Running late on a date could be interpreted as disinterest on your part. Respect the other person’s time by showing up when you are expected. If you cannot avoid being late, be courteous enough to warn your date. Remember, first impression lasts.
9. Being touchy, feely, and clingy
If you had watched the famous film How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, then you should have heard this line already. Too much touching and physical contact might make your date all the wrong impressions. Get all these and you will be off the hook in no time. This will scare your date away. Know your limitations.
10. Inappropriately dressed
Avoid being over-dressed or under-dressed as this could push your date away. Ensure that you know the setting and the activity. Nothing impresses more than knowing that you two are both on the same page when it comes to proper clothing.
11. Rubbing off the negative vibes
That perfect evening date does not win you a chance to complain about almost everything that you find irritating. Save your whining and work on your positivity. Your date goes out with you with the thought of getting a good time and hopefully, making a meaningful relationship out of it.
12. Body hair growing everywhere
Ever heard that humans are somewhat related to monkeys in some aspect? This is correct in some way but this does not mean that we need to appear on a date with such close resemblance. Shave! Ladies, whoever invented the Epilady surely has a reason. For men, late day shadows could look sexy, but not on first dates.
13. Too much pleasing
Although, a lesser percentage of daters complain about this, it still remains as one of those numerous things that make your dates run away. A lot of people would want real characters to shine. So if something crosses your line or simply irks you, speak up, nicely.
Dating gives everyone a glimpse to a person’s life and personality. It is magical. Imagine how you go out with some stranger and end up liking or loving in the end? So cross this all out and increase your chances of meeting that one perfect stranger in your life. Remember, to find and keep the right partner, you should be one too.